Week Two

I realized very quickly that this summer was nothing like I expected or prepared for.  I don't think I've ever had this many emotional roller coasters back to back, especially in the same day.

This has been an interesting week.  I started it out with a very positive attitude.  I was bound and determined to make the best of every single day.  Unfortunately I can't say that it has ended with that much of a positive attitude.

On Monday we went to Tree of Life.  That was a good day for me.  I got to spend some time with the kids. And Marline, the caregiver, braided my hair!  Watch out world, I'm turning Haitian slowly, but surely.

Tuesday proved to be a very interesting day.  We went out in the morning to Williamson to finish up doing some surveying.  We left Williamson around 11:30am to head back home and to go to FPCH.  Well.... that didn't exactly happen.  

On our way to Williamson we saw tires burning on one of the side roads.  What we didn't realize was that was the start of a riot.  That community was fighting for electricity.  On our way back the road was completely blocked off and cars were just lined up for miles.  We ended up pulling off on a side road and just sat there trying to wait it out.  After about 6 hours we realized that we might not be going home.

We went to a local restaurant to get some dinner and then headed to find a hotel.  Obama Beach Hotel was near by, but when we got there we were told that they don't accept credit cards.  So off to Wahoo Beach Resort we went, but because of the riot they were packed.  Luckily one of the interns here, MC, worked her magic with a couple of the guys and we were able to stay in the workers lounge room.  Basically it was a big open room for storage with random mattresses on the ground and no lock on the door.

We left around 4am to try and head back home.  Riots typically last all day, they close up at night, and then start again early in the mornings.  So, we thought by leaving super early that we might be able to pass through before they started up.  Luckily, that's exactly what happened.  It was kinda spooky because it was pitch black, barely anyone on the streets, and we were a vehicle full of white people, not a good combination.  

We passed by where they had burned debris in the street and we cheered thinking we were in the clear.  Then we came across two vehicles in the street that had been burned and left as a barricade.  We zig-zaged past that and then came across a truck parked diagonal in the street.  We passed by that and then came across our biggest hurdle, a MACK truck parked literally across the street.  We were able to get off the road and onto the shoulder and get past the truck.  Then we were in the clear!  We made it back home a little after 5 completely worn out and very thirsty.

We rested for a little bit, had breakfast, and then headed to FPCH.  This proved to be my hardest day here. Charlie, Lara, and I decided to do well check-ups on the kids.  We measured their arms, legs, abdomens, took their temps, and got their height (we're doing their weight next week).  At least one-fourth of the kids are malnourished, many have skin rashes, several have the croupe, but one little girl, Angelica, seemed to be the worse.  She's 3 years old, has a hard time breathing, and has what seemed to be fluid on her lungs.  Charlie's initial diagnosis was pneumonia.

As I held Angelica in my arms to give her some pain reliever (we're very limited with medicine here) she clung to me.  She wrapped her little arms around my neck and wouldn't let go.  My heart began to break for this child.  I wanted to do something to make her feel better, but because we don't have adequate equipment or medicine, there really wasn't anything else we could do.  It frustrates me that medical is not a primary concern for WWV.  It frustrates me that this little girl is getting brushed under the rug because she is quiet and just another child of 31.

Leaving FPCH Wednesday I was ready to give up.  I was ready to call my mom and tell her to change my flight because I was coming home.

I spent the rest of the day discouraged and kept to myself.  That evening I had a very hard time sleeping.  I kept waking up thinking about Angelica.  That feeling continued into Thursday morning.  I had 3 separate emotional meltdowns, all in the matter of an hour.  I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, but I had to go to Tree of Life.

I'm thankful that we went though because it helped my spirits some.  The 13 kids there seem to be happier than at the beginning of the summer.  I don't know if it's because we bring them snacks every day, so they are fuller on days we go.  Or if they are getting more comfortable with us, which allows them to open up more.  Whatever the case may be, the kids seem to smile and laugh and run around more, which I'm very thankful for.

We have a medical team staying at our house this week, so after we got home from Tree of Life, Charlie, Lara, and I went with them to go check out Angelica.  Based on their knowledge and very limited resources, they think that she does in fact have pneumonia and recommended a medicine treatment.  I ended Thursday feeling a little better about the situation because we had a plan of action for Angelica.

Today was a work day, so we didn't have any definite plans.  Charlie, Lara, and I went to FPCH to start Angelica's treatment.  The medical team recommended we be there for at least 30 minutes after we administrated her first dose in order to make sure she didn't have a reaction.  Being able to see her today and hold her was very good for me.  She wasn't as clingy as the other day, which was good; however, she was extra clingy when it came time for me to leave. It breaks my heart each time I have to peel her off me and leave her.  I just hope that this medicine will help her and she will get better super fast!

When people ask how my trip is going I feel like I always have the same answer ... Oh, it's going.  There seem to be new frustrations and disappointments every day. There are good times and bad.  Funny and sad. No day goes according to plans and something always happens that we don't expect.  Hey, it's Haiti!

7 more weeks to go ... 

BTW, my computer finally said "no more," so I probably won't be blogging as much or uploading pictures.  Check out my Instagram Album on Facebook for pictures I take on my phone!

SMG

First Week in Haiti

To say that this week has been a challenge puts it very lightly.

Once I arrived I was excited to see where I would be staying, who I would be working with, what a typical schedule would look like, and just to dive right into living the Haiti life.  I was quickly faced with several tests, and unfortunately failed most miserably.

I found out some information from the very get go that really disappointed me (not to be discussed on my blog).  So I was put into a negative mood very quickly.  This negative mood made me look at the days tasks negatively.  This negative mood made me not be as open to getting to know the other interns for who they truly are.  I was bitter.  Upset.  Disappointed.  Angry.

All these negative emotions caused the beginning of my first week to be very long, hard, tiring, and down right awful.  I didn't give my full self to the children we met in the orphanages, the people we met out in the community, or the relationships that I was failing to embrace from the other interns.

Thursday morning (June 7th) I was woken up early because the EDH (our electricity) went off.  I woke up hot and sweaty and in another negative mood.  I tried and tired to fall back asleep, but it just wasn't happening.  Being the only one awake I decided to go to the rooftop and watch the sunrise.  What I didn't realize then, that I know now, was that was exactly what I needed.

Sitting on the roof, the palm trees blowing beside me, and beautiful colors in the sky above me was a perfect combination to turn negative Nancy off and turn positive Polly on.  I was alone with just my thoughts.  I was able to sort through some of the mixed emotions I had been feeling all week.  I decided then and there that I was going to make this the best adventure that I intended it to be!

So after my meditation time Thursday morning I was renewed and restored.  I was ready give my full self to each of my daily tasks and show my team members the true Samantha and not the creature I had somehow become.

We went to an orphanage called "Tree of Life" that currently has 13 kids living there.  We went there earlier in the week, but I didn't have the best experience because of my horrible attitude.  This time there was incredible.  I danced with the kids, took some pictures, held several precious little ones, and just thoroughly enjoyed myself, while hopefully brightening these kids days.

I realized that these kids have a smile on their face most of the day just by me being there and offering myself to them, so what on earth do I have to complain about?  These kids only have two meals a day, a small breakfast around 6 or 7 and a bigger lunch around 1 or 2, so I can hold off a couple hours to have my lunch snack until after I leave the orphanage.  It isn't these kids fault that everything here isn't what I expected it to be, so why do they deserve to be punished by me not offering my complete and whole self up to them?  They don't!

Today I started my day off the same way as yesterday; I went to the rooftop to have my alone time.  Huge success and very rewarding.

Today our task was to go to Williamson (about an hour north of Port-au-Prince) to continue surveying that community and finding out their needs.  As soon as we got there the school in that community had finished up for the day and the kids were playing jump rope.  I immediately put down my notebook and jumped right in.  Who wouldn't have a big smile on their face by playing a massive game of jump rope with a couple dozen kids?  We moved onto taking some pictures, then ring around the rosy, duck duck goose, and finished up with singing the hokey pokey.  Great start!

Then it was time to head towards the houses to do our surveying.  This was the third time this week that we did this and honestly it's not something I really wanted to do again.  I was already super hot and super sweaty and feeling a little sick to my stomach from running around and playing with the kids.  I didn't want to walk on rocky streets, uphill, talk to families who have very little, all in the hot sun.  But this time I set out with a different attitude.  You know it's a daily task for these families to walk these same rocky streets, in the same hot sun, wearing worn out flips flops or no shoes at all for a couple miles in order to just get water, and not clean water at that.  So if they can do that on a daily basis, then you better believe that I can do it for a couple hours in my tennis shoes, where I can go to the truck after we're done and drink clean cold water, drive back home, and sit in front of a fan to cool me off.

This week started out on a negative foot, but I am happy to say that it has ended 10x better than it began.  I have a better attitude about what I'm here to do.  I have apologized to my team mates that I hurt in the beginning and have begun to put a band aid on that relationship and start over.  I have opened my eyes more to what all this summer has to offer me as long as I keep an open mind to everything that is set in front of me.

This is going to be an adventure.  I'm going to have bad days.  I'm going to get into bad moods.  We're going to have arguments and disagreements.  But at the end of this summer I want to be able to say that I've made a difference in the people's lives that I have come into contact with.  I want to be able to say that I've meet some friends that I'll never forget.  And I want to have the best summer of my life!!

SMG

Struggles

Wow!  Today started out with all kinds of struggles for me.  I felt isolated.  I felt alone.  I felt that I was in the wrong place.  I felt unsure of a lot of things.  I felt like I didn’t have any answers to anything.  Some of those struggles are still with me (please keep me in your prayers), but several of those struggles were quickly removed from my mind after today.

With all these feelings going through my mind, there’s nothing better than a conversation with my momma.  So I called her before we left for the day.  She never ceases to amaze me.  She always knows the right words to say when I’m feeling down.  Funny how that works! (Love You Mom!)

Today we went to an orphanage called ‘Tree of Life’ that is about 15 minutes from our house.  They currently have 13 children and two motherly figures.  As soon as we got out of the car one little boy held his hands up for me to hold him.  Honestly from my past experiences in Haiti, this didn’t surprise me.  I instantly feel in love with this little boy.  I knew he was going to be ‘mine.’  And sure enough he stuck with me the whole day.

After spending some time with the precious children I saw how malnourished they are and how much they just yearn to have someone to hold them.  It breaks my heart every time I think about it.

My little boy, Roosvelt (oos-velt), was one of the more severe malnourished children.  He was very quiet.  He didn’t smile very much.  He really worried me.  After lunch time and he had his belly full, he came and found me and raised his little arms up for me to pick him up.  His demeanor changed.  He was happier and seemed to enjoy the other children more. 

Seeing this made my heart break over and over again.  I was showing this little boy love and attention, but that wasn’t enough.  He was hungry.  His belly was aching for nutrition.  This just reminds me that no matter the circumstances, if someone doesn’t have their basic needs met, then they aren’t going to care about much of anything else.

While the children were playing before lunchtime I couldn’t help but think how hungry I was.  How thirsty I was and would do just about anything for some cold water.  But then it hit me.  These children go through that on a daily basis.  They only get 2 meals a day, one around 7 or 8 in the morning and one around 12 or 1 in the afternoon, and that’s it.  Their bellies are always craving something more.  This is a recurring theme, but …

That broke my heart even more.

How can I be so caught up in me me me when I’ve never once questioned where my next meal would come from or if it would feel me up?  Or if the water I’m drinking was going to hurt me.

Another thing that hit me straight in the face was the two women who run the orphanage.  Neither one of them technically ‘run’ the orphanage, that lady has disappeared, but these women have stuck around because they care for these kids so much.  They don’t eat unless there’s enough for the kids first.  They sacrifice so much for these kids.  There are no finances coming in, so they use their own money to help raise these children.  They are very strong women.  I am a better person for knowing them.  And I’m anxious to see where our relationship goes throughout this summer.

I know this was a long blog post, but I had a powerful day and had to share some of the biggest things.  I ask that you all continue to lift me up in prayer and keep sending me encouragement (comments, facebook messenger, email: samantha.gross1213@gmail.com) as I’m still having some hard times.  It’s hard being here with no family, long term friends, or anyone who completely ‘gets’ me like so many from back home do, so the communication from back home helps!  I love you all!!

SMG

Flat Tire

On our way to Williamson (a town in Haiti) yesterday we ended up getting a flat tire.  We all get out of the car and look at the tire and laugh.  What else could we do but laugh?

We're broken down on the side of the road in Haiti.  Yay!!

Luckily it happened in a less populated area, so safety wasn't as big of an issue.  But even better, we broke down about 10 feet from a tire shop.  How awesome is that?!

While we were waiting on them to fix our tire we met a Haitian man who was super nice and very smart.  He knew 5 languages: Creole, French, German, Spanish, and English.  Heck he knew better English than I did!

We were stopped right next to a house and I heard a baby crying inside.  I said aww I want to hold the baby.  So our interpreter told them and they brought the baby down for me to hold.  So precious! (I found out later that my team mates thought I was weird for doing that ... apparently they don't know my love of children just yet lol)

Someone ended up meeting us with another car so we took off to Williamson in the new car while he waited for the tire to get fixed on the other car.

Everyone was safe and everything turned out just fine.  And now I have an awesome story to tell about my first day here.

Success?  I think so!!

SMG

First Day in Haiti

I was the first one to wake up this morning.  Not really surprising to me because I was the first to go to sleep and plus today is my first official day in Haiti.  Who wouldn’t be excited and ready to get the day going?  This chick sure is!!  I feel refreshed and ready to go see the wonderful people of Haiti.

During my quiet time this morning I asked God to lead me to a passage in the Bible that He wanted me to read.  I happened upon Proverbs and started reading chapter 3.  This happens to be one of my favorite passages …

            ⁵Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

            do not depend on your own understanding.

            ⁶Seek his will in all you do,

            and he will show you which path to take. (NLT)

BAM!!  What a verse to kick start this amazing adventure I’m set on.  I am here in Haiti without a doubt because it’s where God wants me to be.  This is the path that He has chosen for me!

Two years ago when I experienced Haiti for the first time, God started changing my desires and my passions right then.  He showed me that His will for my life wasn’t exactly what I planned to do with my life initially.  My plans were to become a nurse, work in a hospital, get married, and start a family.  His plans were for me to become a nurse and move to Haiti.  Is getting married in that equation too?  Probably.  That’s still a major desire of my heart and by this point I think God would have taken that desire away if He didn’t have planned for me to get married.  Is a family in my future?  More than likely, but it might mean I have dozens of children to love and care for in Haiti and eventually might adopt a few in the future as my own.

Is thinking about being a medical missionary in Haiti scary?  You bet your bottom dollar.  I worry about disease, natural disasters, and dehydration to name a few.  But living in the US being a nurse comes with dangers too.  So when I get worried about my future, my heart clings to this verse above and I know without a shadow of doubt that this is the path that God had planned for me all along.  I also cling to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you.” says the Lord, “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

So let’s do this Haiti adventure!!  I’m ready to love on some babies, sit and talk to some women, and just be a shining light to their world!

SMG