Pride

So I was sitting in church last night listening to Zach speak on how we are to be a follower of Christ and not just a fan ("Jesus didn't come to this earth for us to be His fan, He came for us to be a follower of Him") ... It got me thinking about my trip to Haiti this summer.  I'm so pumped and excited and anxious and nervous and everything else all bottled up into one big mess of emotions.  And then I got to thinking ... I'm afraid I'm using this trip to boost up my pride.  I feel like I've been making this trip more about Samantha and how others view me, then about who the trip is ultimately about ... JESUS!

Yes, I talk about the trip all the time.  Yes, I know this is totally a God thing because He has been there throughout this whole planning process.  Yes, I know that God is going to do amazing things this summer through me and in me.  But what I didn't realize until last night, is that instead of making this trip all about Him and what He's going to do, I've made it more about me.  I have made points to tell people I'm going, or to make comments that I'm leaving in __ days and of course that person is going to ask where I'm going.  I feel like it's okay to feel good about myself for stepping out and taking this trip, but I have been searching for that approval from other people too.  I have been wanting other people to be proud of me.  I have some pride issues.

So, for those who might read this blog ... please be in prayer for me.  Please ask God to change my heart and make me less prideful.  Please ask God to change my visions and make this trip 100% all about Him and not about me at all.  Pray that I would be a vessel to better the Kingdom of God.  Pray that God will do some mighty works through me this summer and that those I come in contact with will see Him and not me.  Pray that God radically changes me this summer and opens my eyes to the beauty of His creation and that He will break my heart for what breaks His.

Please just pray.

SMG